Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Kids Matter

When it comes to my kids I struggle everyday with the fact that I should have left out of the relationship earlier. I see a lot of anger in both of my kids. My son has lived with his dad until he turned 13. I see so many things in him that I see in his dad it is so scary. My daughter anger comes from the fact she wish she had a relationship with her dad. Everyday I am challenged with something. I feel like Im fighting against something. But, I don't know what is. How can you fight something you don't know what your fighting against? I know it sounds silly. But, it true. Im trying to build a relationship with them so they can understand my side of the story. Again I don't know what he has told them. If it is one thing I can tell a mother with kids. Please think about your kids and how it is affecting them. Believe it or not they see everything. My advice to you is start planning your way out. It's not fair to them. If you can't find a reason to leave think about them. Their life matters too.
‪#‎joinme‬ ‪#‎kidsmatter‬ ‪#‎Istruggle‬ ‪#‎togetherwestand‬ ‪#‎DV‬

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Learn to Forgive

I had forgiven him for what he has done. That's why I am at peace with myself and I am able to help others heal. It wasn't easy. Learn to forgive then you can move forward into the life you were destined for.
‪#‎findpeace‬ ‪#‎speakout‬ ‪#‎learntoforgive‬ ‪#‎DV‬

Monday, March 30, 2015

Effects on Children

What are the effects of Domestic Abuse on Children?
More than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes every year.
Children who live in homes where there is domestic violence also suffer abuse or neglect at high rates (30% to 60%).
Children exposed to domestic violence at home are more likely to have health problems, including becoming sick more often, having frequent headaches or stomachaches, and being more tired and lethargic.
Children are more likely to intervene when they witness severe violence against a parent – which can place a child at great risk for injury or even death.
Please do it for your kids. I am experiencing a lot with my kids. I been away from the relationship for almost 8 years and I am still being constantly reminded that I should of left earlier. My kids are 16 and 15 boy and girl. I see so much of him in my son I can scream sometimes. Like seriously. But, all I can do is take it one day at a time. That's what I'm trying to do. I want to encourage you to start planning your way out. Save your kids from thinking this is normal. We need to break the cycle on abuse.
‪#‎speakout‬ ‪#‎doitforthekids‬ ‪#‎fight‬ ‪#‎protect‬ ‪#‎live‬

Thursday, March 26, 2015

What is your fear?

What is it that you are afraid of? What is holding you back from becoming the person you want to be? Is it the negative thoughts that you think about everyday, or the lack of hope of leaving. Everyday, if you wake up and say I can and I will overcome whatever is it I need to overcome to be the person I want to be. Just try to start thinking positive and see what happens in your life. 
‪#‎youcanandyouwill‬ ‪#‎survive‬ ‪#‎speakout‬ ‪#‎joinme‬

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Stop the Cycle

The Full Cycle of Domestic Violence: An Example
A man abuses his partner. After he hits her, he experiences self-directed guilt. He says, "I'm sorry for hurting you." What he does not say is, "Because I might get caught." He then rationalizes his behavior by saying that his partner is having an affair with someone. He tells her "If you weren't such a worthless whore I wouldn't have to hit you." He then acts contrite, reassuring her that he will not hurt her again. He then fantasizes and reflects on past abuse and how he will hurt her again. He plans on telling her to go to the store to get some groceries. What he withholds from her is that she has a certain amount of time to do the shopping. When she is held up in traffic and is a few minutes late, he feels completely justified in assaulting her because "you're having an affair with the store clerk." He has just set her up. Know the signs and get help. This is not normal. I am not just someone who sits behind a computer and talk. I am to encourage you to leave the relationship and if your not ready then your not ready. I can give you advice and be that listening ear. I am not here to judge. Help stop the cycle. #fightingagainstabuse #DV #endthecycle

Friday, March 20, 2015

Speaking Out.

Next week starts a new journey for this organization. I am nervous but excited at the same time. I am going to keep pushing until a change happens in our community. I got an email back from the government but, that email is not going to stop me. According to God's word he said, I can do all this through him who gives me strength .If that isn't powerful enough I don't know what is. My voice is going to be heard. I am so tired of men and women getting away with abuse and they aren't doing anything about it. But, we are emotionally, physically and verbally abused. It scars us so bad it hurts to even talk about it. I am going to be the voice for those who are afraid to speak out. The government don't know what's going on in these streets. They think they do. These laws they have put in place isn't working and they know that. The last law that was passed  back in 2003 well, I tell you what since 2003 a lot has happened and it's getting worse, So, what now? Then they have all these  celebrities they are paying to speak on abuse. Are they out in our community to find out what they can do change what is going on? Please, your just a celebrity. We don't need to have a celebrity status to make a change in the world. I may have some setbacks and things may not go right but, I am going to fight for what is right. I am a victim of abuse. I am going to be heard. You can go and like my page to keep up with Finding Faith Within​. #makeachange #imnotperfect #raisingawareness #DV

Monday, March 16, 2015

Do you feel Isolated?

Has anyone experienced Isolation abuse?? I have.
Isolation is a pivotal tactic that controlling partners use in order to weaken their victims, prevent them from hearing others’ perspectives, and to bring them into line with his own beliefs and requirements. Often possessiveness and jealousy play a part in some men’s motivation to isolate women from social contact with friends and family. Some tactics aimed at isolating the victim include telling her that she cares more for her friends, family and pets than for him, telling her he’s the only one who understands her and loves her, controlling incoming information including what she reads, calling her names if she spends time with friends and family, purposefully moving towns or countries, and there are a whole lot more tactics that women describe below in interviews from my Masters research. If you are experiencing this just know it is a sign of abuse. If you are afraid to talk to your friends or family about, you can contact me through my website or private message me. I am here to talk to you. One thing I can not do is force you to leave. You will know when your ready. I am here to encourage you that you can leave and no one should feel isolated their entire lives. Life is about happiness and love. If you really can't do it for yourself do it for your kids....
‪#‎fight‬ ‪#‎protect‬ ‪#‎live‬

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

We need to be heard....

Women and Men I am encouraging you to speak out today. It has gotten to the point to were the system is failing us. Everyone still have fear to speak out and stand up for what's right. It's not fair that these men are not being punched for their actions. They put them in jail for a couple of days and that's it. What good is that doing? All they are doing is making it easy for them to hurt another man or woman. As long as we stay silent nothing is going to be done. I am going to continue this fight because it was not fair what happened to me and he is just walking around like nothing has happened. I want to have justice for other men and women. Do they understand that our kids are watching us go through this? Do they understand that our girls see us crying every night because we have so much fear to do anything abut it? Do they understand how much control they are giving these men or women to feel like its ok to keep doing this? It's not fair that we have to continue to live in fear. They really don't understand the control that these or women have over us. They don't understand that our lives depend on what we do or say on a daily basis. They don't understand our pain. Help me to raise awareness on Domestic Violence. ‪#‎ourvoiceneedtobeheard‬
‪#‎weareworthy‬ ‪#‎endingdomesticabuse‬ ‪#‎standupforwhatsright‬

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Start Planning

Another reason people never leave an abusive relationship is reliance on the abusive partner.
Lack of Money:
Your friend may have become financially dependent on their abusive partner. Without money, it can seem impossible for them to leave the relationship.
Nowhere to Go: 
Even if they could leave, your friend may think that they have nowhere to go or no one to turn to once they’ve ended the relationship. This feeling of helplessness can be especially strong if the person lives with their abusive partner.
If your friend is physically dependent on their abusive partner, they can feel that their well-being is connected to the relationship. This dependency could heavily influence his or her decision to stay in an abusive relationship.
If any of these reasons is the reason you haven't left you need to start planning. Start by looking for a part time job and if he ask say, I am tired of staying at home and I want to help us say money so, we can go on family trips or do more with the kids. Come up with something where he will believe you. Play his game. If you need to talk or have questions. Leave a comment or PM me. I am here for you. I am not the judge your higher power is. Visit my website at
‪#‎letsspeakout‬ ‪#‎endingdomesticabsuee‬

Monday, March 9, 2015

Being Pressured

The second reason people stay in abusive relationship is pressure.
Social/Peer Pressure:
If the abuser is popular, it can be hard for a person to tell their friends for fear that no one will believe them or that everyone will take the abuser's side.
Cultural/Religious Reasons: 
Traditional gender roles can make it difficult for young women to admit to being sexually active and for young men to admit to being abused. Also, your friend’s culture or religion may influence them to stay rather than end the relationship for fear of bringing shame upon their family.
Your friend may feel pressure to raise their children with both parents together, even if that means staying in an abusive relationship. Also, the abusive partner may threaten to take or harm the children if your friend leaves.
Please don't let any of these reasons keep you in that relationship because in the end you are really hurting your self and your children. I am a witness to that. I have 2 children and if I had the faith to leave sooner I would have. If you need encouragement or just someone to talk too. Don't let me be a stranger behind this page. I want to connect with you and talk to you. Again, I not here to judge anyone. I am here to help and provide resources to get you to where you need to be.
‪#‎speakout‬ ‪#‎fight‬ ‪#‎protect‬ ‪#‎live‬
‪#‎letsenddomesticabuse‬ ‪#‎letyourvoicebeheard‬

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Understanding Emotional Abuse

Understand Emotional Abuse

The aim of emotional abuse is to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence. If you’re the victim of emotional abuse, you may feel that there is no way out of the relationship or that without your abusive partner you have nothing.

Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling behavior also fall under emotional abuse. Additionally, abusers who use emotional or psychological abuse often throw in threats of physical violence or other repercussions if you don’t do what they want.

You may think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave you with scars. But, the scars of emotional abuse are very real, and they run deep. In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse—sometimes even more so. You can also visit my website at Let's talk!!!
#fight #protect #live

Monday, February 23, 2015

Why live in fear???

Those of you who are in abusive relationship or had experienced it. What was your most frightened time of your life? What changes are you making to remove yourself from that relationship? Are you afraid to talk to someone about it because you think you will be judged? Do you have kids with this person? What is stopping you from leaving? I am here to say whatever it is that is keeping you leaving. Stop what your doing and today is the day for you to start planning for your future for you and your kids. Don't let them see you this way. Fearing for your life everyday isn't the way your suppose live. Because we live in a world of cycles. Stop the cycle..It starts with you. Kids grow up doing what they see. I know we are doing things that we have seen grown up. Help break the cycle on abuse. Trust yourself that you are making the right decision for your kids. Again let me express it is very hard to leave a situation that you are comfortable in. Keep in mind your kids are watching. Talk to me. I am here to help!!
‪#‎helpraiseawareness‬ ‪#‎enddomesticabuse‬
‪#‎fight‬ ‪#‎protect‬ ‪#‎live‬

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Did you believe him???

Has the abuser promised that he would stop? Did you really believe him? Don't be ashamed to say you did because I did too. Look at me. I was in the relationship for 10 years. When I say it is hard to leave trust me I believe you without a doubt. But, I know that you have that same faith that I have and one day I want to hear your story of how you overcame your abusive relationship. We are strong, powerful, beautiful and smart enough to know that we deserve better.
‪#‎raisingawareness‬ ‪#‎domesticviolence‬
‪#‎fight‬ ‪#‎protect‬ ‪#‎live‬

Monday, February 16, 2015

A sign to watch for

Another sign I don't think that has been mentioned. A sign that I have experienced. Have you ever noticed that every time you get in the car and the triptometer the miles thing is always at zero??? Like really? Another thing to worry about. Yes, another thing to worry about. It's like a job. I didn't notice that until I started being questioned where I went. So, ladies watch your triptometer in the car. Men can be very clever about things. We have to stay on top of our game as well.
‪#‎fight‬ ‪#‎protect‬ ‪#‎live‬

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Abusive Relationship on V-Day

Happy Valentine's Day!
To all women are in an abusive relationship keep in mind he maybe happy right but, things can get ugly at anytime. I pray for a peaceful day for you or someone you may know. Its not right to live this way. Stay prayed up at all times. You will find your way out just keep listening to that small voice that's god talking to you.
‪#‎love‬ ‪#‎live‬ ‪#‎peace‬

Thursday, February 12, 2015

While I was Pregnant...

He knew I was pregnant before I did with my second child which was unexpected. He did not want anymore kids because he said he says a lot already. Yep! that's right. I only had one so, what was the big deal. Well he made it a big deal to the point I couldn't go to the doctor for check ups, no prenatals or nothing. One day I feel a sleep on the bed in our room and all of sudden i woke up to a hammer hitting my stomach. I am so serious. He tried to make me have a miscarriage. As months went on he would say things like, it better be a boy because if its a girl she staying at the hospital. The thoughts in my head of thinking what if I have a girl? Would he really do that? knowing him no but, he probably would treat her really bad. All I can do is just pray that I had a boy the entire 9 months. Get help please its real out here. These guys can take control over you and take you away from your friends and family. Get help.. You can contact us at

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

what is your reason for staying??

Has any of these things happened to you or someone you know?? If so, what are your reasons for staying? Just curious
Checking cell phones, emails or social networks without permission
Extreme jealousy or insecurity
Constant belittling or put-downs
Explosive temper
Isolation from family and friends
Making false accusations
Erratic mood swings
Physically inflicting pain or hurt in any way
Telling someone what to do
Repeatedly pressuring someone to have sex

Getting Away..

Trying to get away is the hardest thing to do. I will admit that. I just about had enough. I thought that I could go to a friend house and stay there for the night. I figured if she sees how scared I am then she wouldn't tell him where I am. Well, let me tell you. How did he find me? I still don't know till this day how he knew where I was, She really wasn't my friend was she? Once he got there. He kicked me in my stomach and dragged me by my hair out the door. I bet you are saying, just how could she stay there? Just go home and leave him alone. First, I didn't want to prove my mom was right about the whole relationship anyway, I figured I could handle this on my own(we think we can). Even till this day my mom doesn’t know how bad it really was. He would always threaten me that if I leave he will find me and kill me. The bad part about it if someone tells you enough time that if you leave I kill you, you start to really believe it. I just kept repeating it over and over. He said he will kill and he knows where my mom lives. I didn't want to put her into danger at all. First, rule never let him isolate you from everybody because then he starts to feel he has all the power over you. Please, please talk to your girls open that relationship with them so they want be afraid to tell you what is going on. If you are in a bad relationship with someone now try to get out if you can. Our kids should not be seeing this and thinking this is normal. My son anger is so bad because of the mistake I made. If you have any questions or just prayer you can email me at findingfaithwithinyourself@gmail ###Domesticabuseawarenessmonth###

Sunday, February 8, 2015


No women should be afraid to sleep in her own house. There were plenty of nights I have been woken up by concoction of things like, water mixed with ketchup, salt and pepper, maybe some eggs yolks you just would never know what was in that jug. That has happened to me several times. After that I had to learn how to sleep lightly. Another thing I have been woken up too was a speaker box dropped on my head. I have a scare on my eye from that. Ladies please teach your girls no matter how much you think your in love that is not acceptable. I know that I am not perfect but, I sure did not deserve the things I have gone through.